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“I’m trying to get these things in order so she knows who I am and what I came from.” Johnson’s urge to chronicle his life became stronger following the suicide of Aaron Hernandez.In April, the former New England Patriots player hanged himself in his prison cell last days after being acquitted of double murder.The timestamp is only as accurate as the clock in the camera, and it may be completely wrong.MIAMI - He inches forward, with jets overhead and the ground 50 stories below.And he plans to be honest with his daughter about his past.In the story, Johnson speaks to his bouts of rage, offering up an explanation but not necessarily an excuse, for a history of violent behavior and physical abuse.He played his last game in 2011, and he now believes he suffers from chronic traumatic encephalopathy, the degenerative brain disorder linked to more than 100 former football players.For now, CTE can be confirmed only after death, but Johnson says his symptoms - anxiety, paranoia, the occasional self-destructive impulse - are consistent with those of past victims.
But as the arrest records grew, people began to distance themselves from Johnson. He also quit therapy and refuses to take prescription pills because he feels equipped at managing his mental strife without medication."They say when you die," Johnson says, looking down toward Southeast 1st Avenue, "you feel that euphoric feeling." Closer now.He's frightened, less of the fall than the direction of his own mind.That’s kind of how I beat it.” Johnson’s daughter however provides a “good distraction” from his personal battle. (College Stats) Weighted Career AV (100-95-...): 51 (1424th overall since 1960) High School: La Plata (MD), State College Area (PA) Draft: Kansas City Chiefs in the 1st round (27th overall) of the 2003 NFL Draft.