Nudity and asperger s syndrome and sex dating autistic gay dating

Posted by / 28-Jul-2017 11:15

Nudity and asperger s syndrome and sex dating

According to Maxine Aston, another Asperger’s counsellor and author, dating websites have ‘opened the floodgates’, allowing those with AS to enter the romance game.

The clinical detachment with which an AS man may survey his options online, instead of having to engage in verbal banter and throw out body language cues in a social environment (translation: flirt, get drunk and snog), has opened up a whole world of new relationship possibilities for these types of men.

‘Nine times out of ten it is the female partner who instigates the [AS] diagnosis,’ says Sarah Hendrickx, whose partner Keith, a computer programmer whom she met online, is on the spectrum; this they know because she had him assessed for it shortly after they met.

About 90 per cent of Asperger’s diagnoses are in men, but this is largely because women ‘use specific coping and adjustment strategies to camouflage their confusion in social situations’, according to clinical psychologist and Asperger’s expert Tony Attwood, who believes that the actual male-to-female Asperger’s ratio is more like 4:1.

So should the partners of AS sufferers wring their hands in despair? This realisation that so many men have some form of AS – something they can’t control and did not choose – goes a long way towards explaining the stereotypical Mars-Venus dichotomy between sensitive, feelings-oriented women and tuned-out, facts-oriented men, and should come as a great relief. ‘I felt liberated,’ says my friend Tess of the moment she realised, after reading up about Asperger’s and how many men it affects, that her husband Peter wasn’t just being rude when he failed to realise he was meant to look up from the television when friends they’d invited round turned up for lunch. I accept that now, so I subtly let him know what I want him to do, whether it be helping around the house or trying to tune in to a conversation, and most of the time he then does it.’The writer Toby Young, though he remains officially undiagnosed, is convinced that he has AS, as is his wife Caroline, who likens him to Homer Simpson and has come to see his ‘total disregard for social etiquette’ – he recently failed to see what was wrong with trying to re-sell a cheese sandwich his child didn’t want to eat to other customers in a café – as ‘more innocence than arrogance’.

Good news, ladies – we don’t need to feel angry when he doesn’t ‘sense’ that we’ve had a bad day and shoo us off to have a hot bath while he gets the supper ready. And while my ex-husband definitely does not have AS, there were times in our marriage when I did puzzle over his detached behaviour: such as when he went off on a golf weekend with a friend who was on the brink of becoming engaged to a long-term girlfriend.

But the good news is that, by understanding the way an AS man’s brain is wired and making the most of his qualities, it is possible to bring out the best in him – and have a fulfilling, or certainly less frustrating, relationship.

Men with (suspected) Asperger’s are everywhere – in the highest offices of power and at the top of the most influential companies.

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She also finds the sensory side of things difficult.

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